Le Cinema fantastique...

So at some point I realized that I need to watch films.  They make me so emotional and so in depth with  myself that I remember what it's like to really feel normal things.  Wonderful beautiful feelings that are not painful.  Even sad movies that I can't take...I love them.  They make me real. I'm not trying to be anything then or trying out personalities anymore.  I'm really just sitting there watching a film and letting everything go.  

I need to be part of the film industry.   I feel like it's what I am supposed to do and I don't believe in fate.

I feel like crying now.  I need to do this.  I really really really need to do this.