I found out last night that I didn’t get into grad school (I only
applied to one place. I didn’t even think I was going to have the money
to apply). I am bummed out even though I assumed this was going to happen.
My application was completed on time but not early and my last recommendation waited 2 months to send it in. My grades were above cut off, I am in a honors program which means they count for more anyway, I’m ethnic, and I’m low income. What’s not to like? Anyway…I’m making excuses that may have nothing to do with it because I feel blegh. I wanted a masters degree but I guess I’m going to be doing something else for the next year. I am continuing school mostly just because I love learning, but it doesn’t have as much to do with my dream job anymore. Psychology is fascinating and I will continue school hopefully next year, but I still dream about making movies everyday. I even thought for the first time recently that it would be fun to do tv shows. Music videos! I just am not sure how I am going to get there.
I have to call the new psychiatrist.
Getting better is the first step…
I just wish I already was.
I wish I could write with someone sometimes, but I'm really protective of my ideas. This isn't because I think people will steal from me, but I constantly feel like everyone's ideas are better than mine, and if I start collaborating, I will feel out beat. Always. It's a stupid self conscious thing that I hate. I could probably make something so much better with a second writer, but I will just feel like it was completely their idea and I won't want to be part of it anymore.
I really need to just get on meds. I am blah.
Always so blah.
My application was completed on time but not early and my last recommendation waited 2 months to send it in. My grades were above cut off, I am in a honors program which means they count for more anyway, I’m ethnic, and I’m low income. What’s not to like? Anyway…I’m making excuses that may have nothing to do with it because I feel blegh. I wanted a masters degree but I guess I’m going to be doing something else for the next year. I am continuing school mostly just because I love learning, but it doesn’t have as much to do with my dream job anymore. Psychology is fascinating and I will continue school hopefully next year, but I still dream about making movies everyday. I even thought for the first time recently that it would be fun to do tv shows. Music videos! I just am not sure how I am going to get there.
I have to call the new psychiatrist.
Getting better is the first step…
I just wish I already was.
I wish I could write with someone sometimes, but I'm really protective of my ideas. This isn't because I think people will steal from me, but I constantly feel like everyone's ideas are better than mine, and if I start collaborating, I will feel out beat. Always. It's a stupid self conscious thing that I hate. I could probably make something so much better with a second writer, but I will just feel like it was completely their idea and I won't want to be part of it anymore.
I really need to just get on meds. I am blah.
Always so blah.
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