Tonight went a lot better than expected.

I was waiting for  heavy fights the whole day.

Nothing happened.

Thank you for letting everything play out smoothly.

Upstream Color

My ex boyfriend just asked his girlfriend to marry him….
This is weird and idk why.
I feel like we are still children….
I can’t understand it.
Are grown ups fake kids?

Are adults just kids pretending to be adults?
I was his first kiss…..this is so weird. 
Why is this so WEIRD?!

Felt a bit better today. Still very on edge. I walk on egg shells when I start thinking about things.  I literally have to avoid topics in my brain or I feel like I did last night.  I don't know how to keep it together.

How do people just.....live?

I can't take it....

I kinda want to disappear...not die but disappear... or maybe I do want to die. I don't know.

I feel sad and I see so many people sad and disappointed.

It hurts too much.  My chest and throat ache. Everyone is so sad.

Everything hurts so much.

YES

I'M ALMOST DONE WITH THIS SEMESTER.

LESS THAN A WEEK TO GO.

I.CAN'T.WAIT.

Gotta start writing.  I'd like to learn how to act too.