Updatious...

Ack.  I wrote a thing and it got erased but I copied it.  Read from here! And I will continue.

What I was trying to say was that I should be starting weightlifting next week which should really help with toning and losing more weight and of course strengthening dem muscles!

I want to not be sick.  Blegh.

FREE...

IT'S SUMMERRRRR as Olaf would say.

Also I worked out today : D

Manfriend and I also hung out with our best friend.

I wanted to cry during a lot of it.

I'm not ready for the outside world.

So close...

OH MY GARSH. THIS SEMESTER IS ALMOST OVERRR.
 I could cry.  I probably will cry when it ends.  I am so ready to be done.  
I've been working on my comic for class for the last few hours.  I am a sleepy child.  I want to camp on the beach.  I think I am going to do that this summer.  I just am overwhelmingly for the nonsense to be over.  To finally sleep without worrying about homework.  Ohhhhh I can't wait.  3 more days.

Magic...

I love Disney movies.

That is all.

Cut Cut Cut...

I gotta keep writing on this thing.  I don't want to just quit on it.  I have a real tangible journal and I never write in it.  I use to quite often.  It's almost ten years old now and it's incredibly interesting and sad to read.  I was the saddest child ever and still just as sad.  What was the point of therapy? and meds for that matter?  Sadness everywhere in my heart and in my soul and it never goes away.  I shake when no one is looking, I swell tears in my eyes when no one is there, I am always a circus balancing act in front of everyone to watch and laugh at.  Who am I? Why am I like this?  Why the self mutilation?  Why am I not better?

Catch Up...

We went to Lego Land for the first time ever this past weekend.  It was a lot more fun than I expected because I did not know what to expect.  It was probably the first time I've gone to a theme park and not looked anything about it up or had any expectation of what it would be like.  I could have gone without the scary two way in the middle of nowhere dark horrible ride back home, BUT still so much family fun which is always the best.  I had a lot of things due for school right before we left, so that was nice to get all done and such.  I am really completely hating school as always.  I love learning, but man do I hate college and all the terrible situations I've gotten myself into and haven't been able to deal with.  The bathroom has been a solace away from people and life.  Thank you school bathroom stalls.
Sometimes I wish I was born a boy.  I hate those moments.  They are really confusing.
I should probably go to bed.  It's nearly one and I'm pretty darn tired.  Night Night.

Fishas...

The kids and I won goldfish at the fair this past Monday.  I've been reading a lot about them and I feel awful about the goldfish I use to have.  I didn't properly take care of them at all.  I feel terrible about this.  I didn't realize how big they may grow either.  I am very anxious about their lives but I hope I can soon provide a proper tank for them.  They are in a 10 gallon one now but it is not suitable and does not have a filter and such.  I'm thinking of just purchasing a new one because this one is very dirty and was used before for a different animal.  I'm not sure yet though.  I have to decide on a substrate soon if any and buy everything they will need.

ANXIETY.