Intershipssssss

I've been throwing around ideas lately about where to do my internship.  It ranges from working  in Costa Rica to working at Tykes and Teens here.

I really just need the 12 credits that the internship will hopefully get me.

Realistically speaking, I will probably end up getting something here that isn't paid....

What I'd like is to work with a movie studio but I don't see that happening.

B

I've been watching a lot of horror movies lately.

I went through the whole trilogy of  Gingersnaps which was AMAZING and cheesy and beautiful.

I'm considering being one of the characters for Halloween.

I watched a few others before those that were pretty disturbing and I just finished May(2002).

I'm not sure why I'm doing this.  They make me feel weird deep down but I like watching them.

I have a huge list going on of movies I need to watch though which is nice.

I like being able to just stare at the list and get the  movie and get to watching instead of wondering what to watch.  I'm actually getting through a lot of it but then I find more.

Oh movieeeeesssssssssssss

I've been having really awful dreams lately.
Really sick reminders of the past.
I also had this strange feeling overcome me that turned into disgust and I started crying.
It felt really weird.  

I see faces in my head and hands and have weird memories of things I can't exactly remember.

Then I feel disgusting.  A disgust that is hard to explain but within.  Really stained within me.  I can't scrub it out.  It just sits there. 

I don't like that they've been haunting me so frequently.  I don't like remembering what happened.  

It can stay in the past.

Being tired is from now on more than just a state of being.  I think it fits better as a personality trait for me.

Manfriend shaved the sides of my head again.

I like it a lot.  It's very post apocalyptic dystopianish.

 I just finished my spring break.  It wasn't very eventful except for the fact that I now sleep in a bunk bed and my room is really clean.  OH! Also I started doing this 30 day exercise regiment.  It seems pretty good.  I was sore the first few days.  My muscles are already getting use to it or I'm not doing the video right anymore.  I feel kinda silly for following a video but it's only 27 min. and I'm sweating and breathing hard afterward. 

I really want to talk to my therapist about getting on meds again. 
  I've started feeling not so great, more so than often that is, and I just want those feelings to stay away,  especially at night like I have stated before.  It started tonight pretty badly.  I start feeling like everyone is going to be terribly sad then die tomorrow and I start feeling sick and suicidal.  It's really scary and weird.

I need to find another job closer to my house.  Need to make more moneys.

I also need to find an internship.  I want a paid one but that will be pretty impossible to find.  I really am trying to figure out if I can intern at a movie studio for a few months to get the full amount of credit so I can graduate in a year.  I hate that I'm behind.

I should get to bed.

Night night :)

Stop eeet

Today was pretty solid. Just cleaned, made eggs, watched a movie, watched some Sailor Moon with the kiddies and then played Dead Space.

I feel really depressed though.  The night always takes me away from anything good and then I feel sick and negative and sad. 

Stop that demons of the night.