Twice is Nice...

 It's still August and I'm posting again!

So I am going to a school orientation thing tomorrow to see if I want to start this program.  It will be so weird going back to school but learning is fun and it will be closer to what I always wanted to do anyway.  The school is also giving me a scholarship so it will be essentially free!

Finally watched the Fallout show and it made me want to restart Fallout 4 and finish.  I also just generally have been getting back into playing more video games which is nice. I also finally watched Baby Reindeer months after the hype of it. Still applying for work although I have not been doing it as vigorously as I should be.  

It's almost Autumn!  I wasn't quite ready for summer to be over not that I am a huge fan of it but thinking about colder weather, cozy days, and the general vibe of fall has me excited.  We also broke out our Halloween decorum so the house is looking spooky.

Still working on my UX certificate but I had a bit of hitch and I need to catch up.  Last week I went with Cowboy on a business trip, i.e. I just hung about the hotel but I did end up seeing a movie the last day and exploring a dead mall.  It was so eerie and fun and I took some pictures.  I want to get a good camera again but I just can't spend the funds on that now. ughghghg responsibilitiessss.  

I started going to the gym in our development and that's been nice.  I've had a lot of health issues get much worse in the last few years and I think working out will really help.  Some of my issues are chronic and not curable but I can do a lot I think to help make them less defining in my life.  Also, feeling better about the way I look will help a lot with motivation.

I am kind of thinking about trying out for a play....maybe just thinking...

Months Ahead...

 Hi there,

So I was let go from said job last month (twenty-four of us).  This included half of my department.  I already was looking for work elsewhere, so this kinda just made it happen more naturally.  I am currently looking for work outside my field so it has been difficult to switch careers.  Although I love psychology, I just don't think it is great to work in, in the capacity that I have.  Psychology really does apply to everything, but when you have a specialty in it, the work is just... I don't know.

Anyway, I am also working on getting a certificate in User Experience which has been different.  It feels sometimes more creative and I like that.  Even though my masters is in Science, I have always been an artsy girl. I am also considering going back to school but I'm not sure.  I love not working but running out of money is scary.  Being home a lot too is not great for me as I become a full blown hermit and stop talking to everyone and not go outside.  So I am figuring out how to not do that too much.  One of the main reasons it has sucked to lose my job is literally just the insurance.  I had doctors appointments setup and I had to cancel everything even though they were for my chronic health issues.

ANYWAYYY MISSS NEGATIVAAAA,

I made a Letterboxd account awhile ago and it made me remember when I use to do little film blurbs on here.  I wonder if I should do it on there.  I also logged on to my tumblr for the first time in awhile and it's still so fun and I love it.

I need to read again.  

Goodnight, babies<3

5 Years...

How has it been five years.... what...

I am in a different decade of birthdays. I can't remember what I talked about last but I'll have to go back and look.  My life is different but not in the way I'd hope for.  

I don't know how to even talk about all of it.  I live in an apartment now.  I moved in December to a new city.  Not to far really though.  Would have like to move further I think but I really was just following the work.  An unfortunate thing really.  My apartment is really nice though. I have a cat that I may have written about as I have had him for five years now.  He just turned 10.  I got a dog last year.  She is a handful but very cute.  I think I was jobless last time I posted which I'm about to hit a year at this job I have now.  I don't like it anymore though and am working on finding something else.  I need something artistic in my life so maybe something with that.  I actually work in my field which is weird.  Lot of fun things to it but company I work for is a mess and unethical.  

I visited New York City finally with Mom in October.  I was really sick for it but it was intense for me.  She finally took me and I think that made her so happy.  It was a surreal experience.

I got really sick last year too mentally and was hospitalized again for 5 and half days.  Started new meds but they had really bad side effects so I am on nothing now but as needed stuff.  That is something that I am realizing I am never going to really be able to deal with perfectly.  I just am this way.  

New Years I decided I need to try therapy again.  There are a lot of things about myself that I do from past trauma and what not that I don't want to do and I need to deal with.  It's weird being so sick of yourself and how you act.  I want to change that.  

I found out last year too that I have some chronic health issues.  I am working with doctors to try and control the damage they have done to me in the last 10 years but I haven't made a lot of progress.  I have to keep trying I guess. 

I think that's the general issue I have.  I need to actually do the things that I say I am going to.  And with some consistency.

Anyway, there's a tiny insight into the last year.  Something really bad happened too but I don't want to type it.

Goodnight, for now.