I was so angry today. And I'm super upset and overwhelmed right now.

Watching Elephant really threw me over.

Now I'm anxious about the unpredictability of people and how stress and sadness kills us.

And how much I love my younger siblings and how I never ever want them to be hurt or sad.

And how much I regret being this yelling angry person when I really am just trying to win back my self confidence but I come off as spiteful and mad.

I need to be patient and understanding.  I have to stop being so damn angry.

Sandy said when the cortisol activates in me the way it does because of my anxious behavior, it can cause harm to my heart....

I have to stop.


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I'm crying....